Joplin

Woke up to hear about the horrible news in Joplin. 89 people dead and the entire town wiped out. I am so sad for them.

I don't know if that's enough to say on a topic like that, but it's all I can think of.



I'm job-hunting right now. Later I'm going to pick up my check at the salon. Last week it was only a $14 (and some change) check so I don't tend to get excited about my paychecks. I don't think people understand that I'm commission-only and my owner doesn't do anything to bring in business. It's all me for me. I wish my friends were able to come to me. It'd be nice to see (emotional) support ... It would also help out financially, of course. But I know money is tight everywhere so I shouldn't complain. I'll just find a job to work at for a few years while I build clientele since that takes a couple of years (or more, it's different for everyone I hear).

What a Great Saturday

Yes, that is a fruit bat peeing.

Today seems like three days rolled into one. I went out last night for Liz's 26th birthday, worked today from 11:30-1 (and did a great haircut), tried finding the audition space in Greenwood but it wasn't happening so I gave up, then went to the zoo with my mom, James, and my brother. Such a great day!!!

 Barf Vader

 in the desert

 first train ride

 with Uncle Chris

 the new baby giraffe

 the new baby baboon

my moment of art for the day

Waiting Waiting

I was suppose to have a phone interview at the end of last week, but by Friday I still hadn't heard from them so I called the agency that's doing the placing and was told they were "dragging their feet" and I should hear from them soon. Got a call at 12:30p saying I'd be hearing from them between 3 and 4.

I got so wrapped up in trying to get ready for my one and only appointment at the salon (which is scheduled for 5p) that here I am thinking "I have to leave at 3:30 and it's 3:20. They need to call!" I still have an hour before I have to leave.

Interviews - ugh! Nothing but a bundle of nervous energy.


Saturday I'm auditioning for a part in a movie. Originally, last weekend, I was suppose to play a skanky milf who gets murdered during sex. Well, due to Josh's exhaustion and needing to push his days with James back a day, I had to drop out of that project. I'm grown up enough to know that leaving at least a nice, professional voicemail is better than a quick, informal text so I called the contact, apologized a few times, let him know my situation, and offered services in the hair department if he ever needed it.

This morning I woke up to my phone buzzing from an email:
We'd like for you to come in Saturday to read for the part of Michelle. It's a bigger part than the other one. Please, R.S.V.P. as soon as possible.

Uh, yes please! I am no actress by any means, but who turns down a fun day of dress up, rape, and murder?!!! See, professionalism, sincerity, and more than 2 hours notice works for you. Now if people would get that idea on lock down in their brains and utilize it for things like, oh, salon appointments. The people who are in the medical field (as in the ER) I can let them get away with it because you don't know what's going to happen when you're on call.

Well, I guess I'll keep searching the internet nervously until the phone call. It's now 3:28p ... 32 minutes left. I hope they call by 4 so I don't have to try to concentrate on them and navigating traffic. I do not leave my guests waiting around for anything.

Word of the day: professionalism

Easter

Photo by Charles I Letbetter

I hope everyone had a good holiday. My was typical: not celebrated. Next year James will at least be able to get a photo with the bunny and egg hunt. Whatever that will mean. It's just not a big deal in my family.

I didn't color any eggs, but I colored Josh's hair. I'm so in love with Wella color that I won't use anything else again. After his hair was done we went to IHOP for brunch. I forgot how much I dislike syrup now so my stomach got a little upset. It's too much sugar. I can't handle sugar anymore. The bacon was good, though. James spilled ice water in his lap and his look was comical; a face that expressed "um ... oops?" He didn't care. Haha!

After brunch we picked up formula for Josh's place and then I came home. Like usual I fell asleep. Mostly from exhaustion, partly from separation anxiety, and a little bit of depression. No joke, my life drains me mentally, emotionally, and physically. No wonder I have zero social life, there's nothing left in me to put out in the universe cause it's all spent.

When I woke up around 8p after a 5 hour nap, I woke up because I was having one of those crazy awesome dreams where you think to yourself (while dreaming) "should I wake up and write this down or keep dreaming and hope I don't forget anything?" I chose to wake up and write it down. In fact, I think I woke up while I was writing it. Six pages in my journal for that 5 second dream.

I just got done with a Jersylicious mini-marathon and now I'm going to go back to bed. Don't know what Monday has in store for me; if anything, then I hope it's inexpensive. I just need out of the house. Job searching tomorrow; hopefully I'll hear back about the second interview for StreetLinks.

I Hate When He's At His Dad's

But I love all of the sleep I get when he's gone. Today I have a 1:00 interview. If I "pass it" I get a second one, if I "pass that" I get a third one. And if I "pass that" I get a job that pays me $12/hour. So, here's hoping I find a "real job" so I can propoerly provide for James and stop depending on my mom and Josh. That'll help with my mental happiness which will probably help with my overall happiness ... despite the weird schedule and lack of seeing James and having to find child care on Wedneday and Thursday nights and all of the driving I'll have to do in the mornings to get James to his dad's and then go to work. I'm really not looking forward to it much, but it'll mean I could afford to take a vacation next summer and James will be old enough to enjoy that since he'll be almost *gulp* 2 years old.

I'm going to try desperately to sleep since I didn't get any of that last night and hope Josh writes me back since he's too uncomfortable to just talk about things. I don't understand how a person cannt be willing to step out of their comfort zone and go out on a limb for people they know/care about. Unless it just comes down to it that he doesn't care about me. We shall see.