"If you love me when I'm good then you have to love me when I'm bad and if you don't then you have to go."
I feel like too many people will only love someone else as long as they never exhibit negativity. People, that's called being fake. If you want someone to be fake with you, then have at it, but to react like negativity isn't something you're going to experience with/because of someone you say you're in love with makes you a complete fool.
Showing posts with label loyalty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loyalty. Show all posts
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Am I the Only One?
Am I the only one:
1. who thinks that when someone says "I want to be your friend" that means you are allowed (nay, invited) to offer chances to hang out together without the other person thinking you're trying to hit on them?
2. with the capacity to love someone when I say "I love you"?
3. who has the most badass son?
4. who rocks at hair and makeup?!! (No, but sometimes I feel like it when I do something amazing at work)
In reference to number 10 - I had my camera at work and didn't take photos of any of the awesomeness I created yesterday. So pissed!! I think I'm going to have to hane Jenna come back in so I can play with her hair for free so I can get a photo. Yep.
1. who thinks that when someone says "I want to be your friend" that means you are allowed (nay, invited) to offer chances to hang out together without the other person thinking you're trying to hit on them?
2. with the capacity to love someone when I say "I love you"?
3. who has the most badass son?
4. who rocks at hair and makeup?!! (No, but sometimes I feel like it when I do something amazing at work)
In reference to number 10 - I had my camera at work and didn't take photos of any of the awesomeness I created yesterday. So pissed!! I think I'm going to have to hane Jenna come back in so I can play with her hair for free so I can get a photo. Yep.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Yesterday & Today
Tuesday
Slept in, applied to some part-time jobs, worked for a little while, ate some Yats, and visited Missy and Stephen at their new house. It sounds simple, but it was such a good day!!
Wednesday
Determined to have another good day, I woke up happy and got myself pumped up to go to the salon even though there was nothing on my book. I ended up getting a men's cut, so it worked out kind of.
Then just when I was getting ready to leave I sent Josh a text letting him know someone contacted me on Facebook about a Thursday appointment. I make $0/hour and if people don't come in, I don't make money so turning away an appointment is not going to happen. (Josh makes $13/hour, just so we're clear there.) We're talking like $500-600 checks per week compared to $70 checks per week here. Josh gets pissed, tells me he has to find a second job because he's worried about money (wants more of it) and he can't watch James every day because he doesn't go to bed until 7a even on days he doesn't work (so, by choice), he has "shit" to do. I tell him it's my job, I need money too, if I were making $13/hour I'd be pretty happy, he needs to support me trying to bring money in for our son and my bills and maybe being able to get out on my own since I'm 28 and it's just ridiculous that he's living on his own, buying groceries, buying what James needs, going out with friends, and has the balls to tell me it's not good enough, that he wants more. (That was a run on sentence and I appolgize to you grammar lovers out there.)
I got livid. Not just livid, I think some of the Jerseylicious and Mob Wives mind set kicked in because I went off on the kid. Every time he spit something at me, I came back with something else. I don't usually think well (or well enough) on my feet, but I think this had been building up a long time and the dude just set me off. He thinks only of himself, even when we were together. He said I should pay hm back for taking care of rent, utilities, and "feeding us" for a year (we ate McDonald's daily because he preferred that to grocery shopping...I stopped eating after awhile because I could feel my arteries clogging up with lard). He said he was doing paying for me to live because he was being nice. Being nice isn't nice if you expect that person to pay you back with interest. He's lucky I gave him the $120 to get his new place because he's screwed up his own life by getting in $20,000+ in debt and then topping it off by not paying last month's rent on the last place. That wasn't me. I told him straight out last year: I live with my mom because I make minimum wage and can't promise you that I can buy groceries. In fact, I know for a fact I can't because I can't now. I'm still going to have the same bills and I'm still making nothing at my job.
What'd he say? "We'll figure it out."
Everything about this kid's mentality and attitude told me to stay away, don't move in with him, it's not going to work.
This is what I get for wanting to be in love, be with someone, have a family. I got shit on for a year because he was expecting me to pay him money, buy groceries, clean the house, work, and take care of the baby.
While I was recovering from a C-section dude was going to the pool and out on boats with his friends, leaving me with a newborn and postpartum depression. He's lucky I didn't do something terrible to our son or myself while he was out having fun because it considered paternity leave as his time to party and vacation.
He ended the call with "You know what? Fuck you."
I get the last word: "Fuck you!" *hung up first*
Gotta be quicker than that, kid. I'm a pro at this. Been having to hang up on assholes since I was a kid. My dad taught me something, at least.
On my way to work we played nice in texts and I didn't let this morning ruin my day. I'm working up ideas to bring business in to me and maybe if I can get myself on four really good money-making days Josh can eat his fucking words. He's not getting a dime out of me. I'm playing nice, but all the time I'm plotting my revenge.
They say being happy is the sweetest revenge so let's do this.
I don't back down any more. I'm done sacrificing and trying to compromise in relationships. I have yet to be with one guy who wanted to meet me half way. It's always going to them, making them happy, understanding their side of things and never getting that in return. If that means I'm alone forever, that's ok as long as I'm happy.
It'll be the ultimate fuck you to all of them.
Slept in, applied to some part-time jobs, worked for a little while, ate some Yats, and visited Missy and Stephen at their new house. It sounds simple, but it was such a good day!!
Wednesday
Determined to have another good day, I woke up happy and got myself pumped up to go to the salon even though there was nothing on my book. I ended up getting a men's cut, so it worked out kind of.
Then just when I was getting ready to leave I sent Josh a text letting him know someone contacted me on Facebook about a Thursday appointment. I make $0/hour and if people don't come in, I don't make money so turning away an appointment is not going to happen. (Josh makes $13/hour, just so we're clear there.) We're talking like $500-600 checks per week compared to $70 checks per week here. Josh gets pissed, tells me he has to find a second job because he's worried about money (wants more of it) and he can't watch James every day because he doesn't go to bed until 7a even on days he doesn't work (so, by choice), he has "shit" to do. I tell him it's my job, I need money too, if I were making $13/hour I'd be pretty happy, he needs to support me trying to bring money in for our son and my bills and maybe being able to get out on my own since I'm 28 and it's just ridiculous that he's living on his own, buying groceries, buying what James needs, going out with friends, and has the balls to tell me it's not good enough, that he wants more. (That was a run on sentence and I appolgize to you grammar lovers out there.)
I got livid. Not just livid, I think some of the Jerseylicious and Mob Wives mind set kicked in because I went off on the kid. Every time he spit something at me, I came back with something else. I don't usually think well (or well enough) on my feet, but I think this had been building up a long time and the dude just set me off. He thinks only of himself, even when we were together. He said I should pay hm back for taking care of rent, utilities, and "feeding us" for a year (we ate McDonald's daily because he preferred that to grocery shopping...I stopped eating after awhile because I could feel my arteries clogging up with lard). He said he was doing paying for me to live because he was being nice. Being nice isn't nice if you expect that person to pay you back with interest. He's lucky I gave him the $120 to get his new place because he's screwed up his own life by getting in $20,000+ in debt and then topping it off by not paying last month's rent on the last place. That wasn't me. I told him straight out last year: I live with my mom because I make minimum wage and can't promise you that I can buy groceries. In fact, I know for a fact I can't because I can't now. I'm still going to have the same bills and I'm still making nothing at my job.
What'd he say? "We'll figure it out."
Everything about this kid's mentality and attitude told me to stay away, don't move in with him, it's not going to work.
This is what I get for wanting to be in love, be with someone, have a family. I got shit on for a year because he was expecting me to pay him money, buy groceries, clean the house, work, and take care of the baby.
While I was recovering from a C-section dude was going to the pool and out on boats with his friends, leaving me with a newborn and postpartum depression. He's lucky I didn't do something terrible to our son or myself while he was out having fun because it considered paternity leave as his time to party and vacation.
He ended the call with "You know what? Fuck you."
I get the last word: "Fuck you!" *hung up first*
Gotta be quicker than that, kid. I'm a pro at this. Been having to hang up on assholes since I was a kid. My dad taught me something, at least.
On my way to work we played nice in texts and I didn't let this morning ruin my day. I'm working up ideas to bring business in to me and maybe if I can get myself on four really good money-making days Josh can eat his fucking words. He's not getting a dime out of me. I'm playing nice, but all the time I'm plotting my revenge.
They say being happy is the sweetest revenge so let's do this.
I don't back down any more. I'm done sacrificing and trying to compromise in relationships. I have yet to be with one guy who wanted to meet me half way. It's always going to them, making them happy, understanding their side of things and never getting that in return. If that means I'm alone forever, that's ok as long as I'm happy.
It'll be the ultimate fuck you to all of them.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Friendship?
Lately, in my life, it means: I had friends "till death" up until about 2008 and then everyone decided to only worry and think about themselves, no one else. Relationships took number 1 priority; if the boyfriend or girlfriend couldn't come along, it was out of the question to hang out. Family is important so I'm not going to ever knock that excuse. Relationships are important too but all of my friends only think about work, family, significant other. Friends just have to forget about it.
I can't be the only person who actually believes still that if you tell someone you miss them and want to hang out, that you should mean it when you say it. For three years now people have been telling me they miss me, they want to see me, I should call or text them on a specific day and we'll hang out. They tell me to make the effort to call them, not the other way around ever, so keep that in mind. So I call or text on the day they have told me they are free and want to hang out - I'm either ignored or blown off 99% of the time.
How dare you call me friend, set me up like that, and then drop me on my face.
The other thing I love is how some people have chosen to cut themselves off. Like one girl who stopped being my friend because I dated someone she previously dated 8 years earlier and kept on the back burner so she could cheat on her boyfriend with him. He said he was tired of it, we got to know each other, I don't cheat on people, he asked me out, I said yes. Really? That's the kind of person you are? Buh-bye, poser.
I had over 400 people on my Facebook friends list and not a single person really ever meant it when they said "let's hang out." I've since deleted over half of those people and I've just finished another cleanse of the list. Most of the people I kept around probably won't be there next week.
I think the straw that has broken this camel's back is my ex. Always with the "I want to be friends and hang out" yet if I ask him out he automatically jumps to "you act like we're still together I need space." The fuck is wrong with people?!!! Really? Fuck you, fuck all of you. I'm done with the whole lot of ya. You're poison to me and I'm tired of taking it.
You're dead. As far as I'm concerned, I buried your asses three years ago when you walked away for some guy instead of starting something new and keeping tight with your friend. Your loss!
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